These people deserve some credit for their quotes.

• But there are certain reasons why you would use a back door, such as going out back. Wendy
• We use our front door all the time because the back door is on the otherside of the house. Wendy
• Fuck the shut up! Schradin
• Ahoy! Bend over so I can bury me treasure! The Butt Pirate
• My roommate's broken! Schradin
• Ask me if I'm naked! Jay on his starring in Hair
• Ben: I'll have an iced tea.
  Michelle: You look like an iced tea kind of guy.
  Carla: Ooooh! She said you're gay!
• Why are my blue balls hanging in midair? Bob playing Busta Move
• Oh no, we need a hermit permit? Michelle
• Hello, we're genetically engineered SET professors. Bob at the lecture.
• Let me give you a wedge. Michelle and I playing Trivial Persuit
• Are you looking at me, because I can't see anything? Amanda
• My teacher is a briefcase with legs... no I'm serious. Michelle on her CompSci prof.
• I'm the butler.... I butle. Wadsworth from Clue
• Blah! Johnny P
• It's just like when the doctor hits your knee with that hammer and you kick your leg. That's like when your alarm clock goes off and I go Blah. Johnny P
• Are you holding your your ducky-bear tonight? Johnny P
• I don't worry about the big stuff. Like if my house burned down, I'd just be like, god dammit I have to build another house. Johnny P
• John: Damn, I'm going to be up all night.
  Bob: Lot of work to do?
  John: No... laundry.
• Oh my goodness. Johnny P
• Wait, Sherri come back here. Sandy
• Don't walk all the way over here. I'll email it to you. Johnny P, dead serious, 5 feet away
• The chicken fingers were the size of... really big. Bob
• He even looks dead. Johnny P seeing Ed Rockle for the first time.
• John = gay = sore butt = no one likes him. Carla
• Jeanne: I think I'm pretty feasible.
  Bob: You said you're easy!
• Thank you darling boy, for this lovely bush that has replaced a lovely tush. Melissa
• You have class in dillhole?... Crowell Hall, you tool! two very random people walking to class
• Dammit Bob, don't make me Bah you. Johnny P
• Oh no, she's a sorostitute now too? Aloke
• I am not gay and I do not have recreational equipment on my head. Bob
• My bum is on the Bob. Carla
• Bob, you can be on my 'to do' list every night. Lillian
• If it looks like I'm friggen sloshed and I came to class in the clothes I slept in, that's because I am and I did. Dave Reimer
• If true and true, then false. Dave Reimer
• Cheeseburger for hooooooooo! Louis from Commons
• The fat lady has sung. We goin' home. Hey, why'd everybody look at Shirley. Louis from Commons
• My ice cream is melting and Ryan is waiting... Melissa
• Bob: You apologize too much.
  Wendy: I'm sorry.
• I eat lunch alone, because other people slow down the eating process. Ryan Schradin
• I'm not eloquently barfing and I'm not gay. Johnny P
• If a decade could vomit, the 70s did so on my house. Nicki
• What the hell is a Hutzel? Jenna
• The only people staying are Jews and John. Carla
• Ye ol' fudge factory. Nuff said. Bobert
• I've got rhythm. Watch we scrape my beak through my own poop. Kristi
• Thanks for saving my life, Bob. I'll talk to you later. Jon
• Your car is the coolest thing on campus. Johnny P
• My ass fell off once, but it grew back. Conor
• Toast me another stick, I want to keep writing! Bob
• Bob, you are my heroine. Chrissy
• Fuck you, smell me! My Ass
• My ass is the wave of the future. Johnny P
• Me and Mel Brooks need to hookup. Johnny P
• Whoa! How'd you get the fortune out of the cookie without opening it? Jess
• Jess: I've been bobbed.
  Tara: Noooo... you haven't.
• Bob: We have a full sized grill in our room, propane, charcoals...
  Jess: Really? That's so cool!
• So where are the answers? Tara, staring at an answer key
• I'm sure I'm more quotable than that. Aloke
• This college needs an aenima. Aloke
• I look like a fuckin moron, but I'm not. Allison (New Res)
• Tara: It's okay, I haven't tried to hack into your computeyour computer yet.
  Bob: Oh! Thank goodness for sparing me.
• I was going to be not retarded, but well... I just couldn't.
• My major is tiny. Bob, you're not my major. Tara
• I just went driving and I didn't die. Yay! Christine, my sister
• John: I wonder what Windows PX would stand for.
  Bob: Poopy Extreme
  John: Oh Jesus.
• You guys are lucky because you can sit down on the toilet. Oh wait, I do that all the time. Tara
• You chopped off my fart's head! Jess
• I say screw the whole operation and we can spend our budget on ice cream. Aloke on LEMS
• Now I have to make a gay ass works cited page. Dammit! I just started typing gay ass... Johnny P
• I went to Taco Bell. Do you want a piece of my questidila. Vito, TCNJ's Finest
• John: Is it raining out?
  Bob: Do you see the lightning out there?
  John: But it's 9 o'clock.
• If you and Car have an outdoor wedding, you can have Thomas mow the lawn. Bob
• Carla: You used to think I was sexy.
  Bob: Yeah, then I got a better prescription.
• Random Drunk: Hey look! There's the guy with the metal arms!
  Aloke: I think I'm going to cry.
• There are two guys down by the lake. They're breaking their computer speakers. Everything is 10-4 with them. Just if you get any complaints. Campus Police @ 5am
• Bob: Sleepiness is a form of drunkness, you know.
  Tara: God, then I must be blasted.
• CJSC Doctor 1: How're you doing?
  CJSC Doctor 2: Good, I'm sterilizing some men today.
• Our neighbor was giving us attitude and all, you know, because she's Korean, so anyway... CJSC Staff
• Jose: Damn, that guy's really shady.
  John: Yeah, that's the point.
• If this gives me food poisoning and I have to call myself tonight, I'm going to be pissed. Bob
• Rubber Neckers. Aha. They crashed. We didn't. Rich
• Tara: ...and so he said my hair was plain.
  Bob: Ok.
  Tara: Do I put a clip in it or something?
• Campus Police: When you get a chance, can you head over to the Townhouse East laundry room and close up the vending machine that's been left open?
  John: Holy shit! Let's get on that!
• PJ: whats the 3?
  PJ: hahah. the number?
  Bob: did you just ask me a /
  PJ: yes i did.
  PJ: lllllllllol
• Tara: The SET book says that eventually, robots will take over because they are the more advanced species.
  Bob: Yeah, but when Microsoft Robot crashes, what species is going to reboot it?
• I don't just take things. That's wrong. John
• A bleeding ass is just not right. Joe, on 129's TP
• Baby, why is your pocket glowing blue? Tara
• Was it blue? Jose
• Gizmo, Gizmo, Gizmo, can't you see? Sometimes your words just... Hey! You pooped on my floor! Jess, to her chinchilla
• I was reading the chapter on insomnia and the next thing I knew... Tara, after a 3-hour nap
• I have my desk light on and I feel like a plant.
Tara

Aww, look how much Tara loves me :P

Meet my cracked-out roommate. Scary stuff.