PPT Slide
Most theories were based on the assumption that once a couple gets through the meeting and dating stages, a commitment is reached and development (and effort) ceases. After this point, there shall be no uncertainty or challenge and thus no need for further effort or decision-making; things “just happen.” These theories ignore the necessity of ongoing relationship maintenance efforts in long-term relationships.
Social exchange theory as applied to relationship development was also less reflected in students’ personal theories. For example, underrepresented were the challenges of balancing costs and rewards (Thibaut & Kelley, 1959). Similarly, such equity constructs as input/output ratios and fair distribution of resources were also not reflected (Walster, Walster, & Berscheid, 1978).
Relationship development theories emphasizing cognitive processes such as active decision-making, future planning, mutual relationship definition, and reevaluation of relationship were underrepresented in students’ theories. For example, sexual involvement was only mentioned by 35% of the students. When it was included, it seemed that the partners passively let it happen, rather than making a conscious decision to be sexually active. Hesitancy in openly discussing relationship concerns may exacerbate this.