Go to your local pier and recruit the most swarmy, dirty, disgusting, swashbuckling heathens you have ever laid eyes upon! These guys will be doing your dirty work, so make sure to choose those who you would only want to represent your badassness. The uglier and drunker the better! Also, stop by the local pet-store, Parrots are always in season.
Tip: Failure isn't an option! Remember... all dissenters must walk the plank!