He comes from southern Texas
where the long horn cattle grow.
He’s getting rather old
and he’s walkin’ sort’a slow.

Raisn’ cattle is his job
and he has a great big spread,
but the two aren’t related
‘cause this spread’s below his head.

In college he did major
in cow psy-chol-o-gy
so he understands the critters
more than you and me.

He likes to do team penning
and he has a darn good horse
who really deserves the credit
for their success, of course.

Each year in middle August
when the Texas plains get hot
he heads for Colorado
where he likes to talk a lot.

About his life of ranchin’
and his friends and family
and about the weather
and all of history.

And if you haven’t heard him
then a doctor you should see
because you have a problem
and you probably can’t hear me.

For Christmas he did send me
a shirt with Santa Claus
sitting on a chimney
with his pants down in a pause.

The shirt said: “How you know
when you’ve been really bad.”
But I think the guy was Felix
‘cause at me he still is mad

For saddling up his horse one year
with the saddle in reverse.
In the photo you couldn’t tell,
which one of them looked worse.

And then while crossing Lost Creek
his wife did take a spill.
Did Felix try to help her?
No, he just sat still.

And watched as horse and rider
swam and splashed around.
While he was sitting safely
quite dry on higher ground.

On a ride in 95
down where the cattle roam.
While I was resting off my horse
he tried to chase her home.

Now in spite of all his antics
and his loud re-par-tee
I’m glad to see him back again
Just stay a way from me.


Dedicated to Felix down in Texas.