My friend had a horse
that he rode, of course,
but the idea was foreign to me.

So my friend, with a smile
said come over a while
and my horse you’ll be able to see.

I came right a way
It was a nice day
and I’d hoped to go for a ride.

As I puffed up my chest,
said “I’ve ridden the best.
But heck, a young man has pride.

Now I’d never been near
a horse or a steer,
And certainly not climbed on a steed.

But I was willing to try
and even to lie
if that’s what it took to succeed.

The horse looked gigantic
much like the titanic.
And I was only fourteen.

Her height at the withers
did give me the shivers.
The biggest that I’d ever seen.

But the horses I see
were all on TV
And actually looked quite small.

So I was not surprised
when I quickly surmised
the dangers of taking a fall.

She wouldn’t stay put
when I lifted my foot
in order to get on her back.

My friend said to hold her
or she would get boulder
so I grabbed a hold of her tack.

I was still by her side
when she shattered my pride
by knocking me down in the dirt.

And when I arose
I got a whack from her nose
and then I really got hurt.

We were now eye-to-eye
and I still don’t know why
that she was not being her best.

She reared up like Trigger
and I did not figure
her front feet would land on my chest.

I flew through the air
like a squashed Bartlet pear
and landed in mud with a splat.

I hoped it had ended
but she was offended
and headed to where I was at.

I got to my feet
and began a retreat
to safety I hoped, but alas

As I ran to the rail
and climbed without fail
She took a bite out of my ass.

Now it took may years
to get over those fears
And to make horses a part of my life.

And though I still hit the dirt
and often get hurt
They’re better than having a wife.