“Doc, you got to come out
old Buck ain’t lookin’ so good.
Yesterday he was doin’ okay.
Now he’s stove up like wood.

I made him up some liniment
with menthol and turpentine.
I rubbed it on his back and legs.
I was sure that’d fix him fine.

But now he’s standing funny,
Like he’s got to go, but can’t.
So I gave him a slug of linseed oil
And now he’s startin’ to pant.

It might have been those shots
you gave him just a week ago.
He didn’t have no ailments then,
and we’ve been riding him slow.

He likes to pull the bailer,
and he pulls the plow with pride.
On Sundays he has all day off,
after givin’ the kids a ride. 

We’d all really appreciate it
if you could come by noon.
We’ve got to get our hay in
‘cause it’s goin’ to rain real soon.

And bring a bag of senior food.
I’m all out of mine.
I don’t know why he likes it.
He’s only twenty nine.

Thanks Doc, I knew you would.
Oh, and pack your razor knife.
You need to lance another boil
that’s been bothering my wife."