This Is One Lonely Dude.
TREE ENVY: J.P. Parshall's landlord was going to cut down a tree in his yard in Lacey, Wash. "I was sitting there one day and thinking, 'I know what I can make out of that'," Parshall said. "I told him to leave a 7- or 8-foot section" and then carved the remains into a giant phallus. He says most passerby like the carving, but a few have complained to the sheriff, who refuses to take action. "We don't have a county ordinance that I know of that says you can't carve your tree into a penis," says Thurston County Sheriff Capt. Dan Kimball. Some people have stopped to salute the carving, since Parshall has mounted two American flags on the top. But come rainy season, he says, the flags will be replaced with a giant condom "to promote safe sex." (AP) ...I don't think splinters is what the "safe sex" people have in mind.