YAHOO IQ

On the night of the May 6th, the votes were being tallied in the important Democratic primary elections in Indiana and North Carolina. I had dinner at the home of some friends, and we watched the early election results as Barak Obama was slowly closing the gap with Hillary Clinton in the Indiana primary. Unfortunately, I had to go home early, so I didn't know the outcome. I was looking forward to finding out in the morning.

The first thing I did the next morning, after showering and dressing, was to turn on my computer to check the election results. I typed, www.yahoo.com, and waited for the headlines. Ta Da!

I could not believe what I was seeing. Who the f..k was “Mario,” and why wasn't Yahoo featuring the major Democratic primary results? The election wasn't even mentioned in the top five news stories. How could “Cristián De La Fuente surgery,” “Golfing in Iraq,” and “Creative ways to get rid of clutter in your home” take precedence over the election? Was this a bad joke or is Yahoo catering to the growing “whatever” crowd of idiots who wouldn't be able to find Indiana on a map of the Midwest?

Further down the page were the top ten searches that had recently been performed by Yahoo users. Britney Spears topped the list, followed by Rihanna, Elisha Cuthbert, Iron Man 2, Cyclone, Ryan Reynolds, Webby Awards, and Baskin Robbins. Finally I found some election results, but it was on the newspaper equivalent page 10.

I was, and am, embarrassed by the implications of this. If Yahoo has the pulse of the public in their sights, as reflected by what they show as headlines, then I fear for our nation’s future--and perhaps Britney Spears could get elected president.

The word Yahoo was invented by Jonathan Swift and used in his book Gulliver's Travels. It represents a person who is repulsive in appearance and barely human. Accordingly I've coined the expression, “Yahoo IQ” to mean barely intelligent. And, like an embarassing stain, I've purged Yahoo from my browser's bookmarks.