The Harry Potter Incidents

The Harry Potter articles are far and away the most popular articles on That Site with the Name.  In hits at least.  As far as being well-received, there have been articles which have gone over a little better.  It isn't everyone, mind you.  In fact, I'd like to think that the majority of people who read the HP articles understood them, enjoyed them, maybe even had a laugh here or there.  Unfortunately, there are others out there who, well, maybe they just are too literal, maybe they're just a little bit slow, but whatever the reasons, they just missed the point.  Badly.  And so spread the good word of the Reverend James Adams.

The Foundations

One day while perusing the internets I stumbled upon a little piece written by some holier-than-thou lady about the heresy of the Harry Potter books.  Being a good little Christian myself, as well as an owner of all six Potter books, I wondered, 'Heavens no!  Have my scholarly ways in fact banished me to hell?'  Well, long story short, no.  That's a retarded idea, they're just books.  Entertaining ones at that.  Unfortunately, there are still countless write-ups about how evil the books are and how they're pushing a hedonistic agenda, and so on and so forth, and they are the kind of crap that angers me even more as a Christian than a Potter fan, because frankly, it helps along the generalization that Christians are know-it-all agenda-pushing assholes.  While I would probably have been content to laugh at the idiocy of these people, and of course, how miserable their lives must be, I felt there was another way that I could get even more enjoyment from these people.  You see, I'm a creative person, and sometimes I just have to write.  So write I did.

Enter Rev. Adams

The best idea I could come up with for my own satisfaction, which at the time was primarily what I wrote for, was to write a mock article about the evils of the novels.  One, mind you, so filled with exaggerations, misreadings, and predominantly, flat out lies, that anyone reading it would get where I was coming from, that being that these claims are outrageously stupid.  Having prepared my soufflé of lies, I seasoned with a few generalizations, and of course some hypocrisy, and I looked at my final work.  While I knew that the words were in fact 100% contrary to my own beliefs, it still felt dirty, and thus was the Reverend Adams born.  Now, Adams is no ordinary reverend.  It's pretty clear that he's a cult leader, and so I reasoned that with these words supposedly coming from such a comically demented man, no one should be taking the article seriously, and no one would be offended.  Boy howdy was I wrong.

Rabble!  Rabble, Rabble!

Within a week, hits were pouring into what was previously a site read by the author and a few select friends.  A site which really only existed as a release for the creator's creative juices.  And the people coming in, they weren't happy.  Fortunately, a handy "petition" was set up for visitors to voice their ire.  And voice it they did.  In the many (I've lost count) threads that have been maintained, I have been called an idiot, been told "your evil," called a bigot, and pretty much any other insult you can think of, and had my life threatened on no fewer than seven occasions.  Those readers not content with just the forum also saw fit to send me some hate mail, to which they received a form-letter response, thanking them for their patronage and support in the fight against the scourge of Harry Potter.  As for the forum threads, they are honestly quite entertaining, especially when people argue against the piece one post below a post stating that the whole piece was satire.  Eventually, threads would peter out and too many posts stating the obvious would spoil the fun, at which point I would move the thread to my own private viewing area, and start a new thread, which would soon be filled with more hate.

And So it Goes

While the article was never written to offend Harry Potter fans, I've never been one to turn down a little fun at the expense of annoying people who misread articles, slam the author for arguing for censoring words, then demand the author remove words that they found offensive.  Hypocrisy, it's what's for dinner.  Anywho, that's how I came to write the review for Goblet of Fire.  That and I was a little excited for the movie, and felt like writing about it.  Complete with a guest appearance from the Rev., the piece included a plot summary based entirely on the movie's theatrical trailer.  Once again, the article was completely devoid of "facts," and again, many took it seriously.  Sigh.  Fortunately for me, all the faith in humanity I lose over these articles is usually counteracted by all the laughter.  And there's lot's of it.  And now, with there actually being a lengthy explanation of the stories on the site, I'll probably enjoy it even more.  So consider this a selfish story.  I'm okay with that, because I'm kind of a selfish guy.  Even if this explanation causes nobody to misunderstand the story again, I think it's served me, and the many others who have read it, got it, and laughed at the outrage, rather well.  The Reverend has taken on a life all his own, even spawning his own Facebook account and groups, and becoming a kind of popular guy for someone who is simultaneously crazy and imaginary.  As for myself, I've enjoyed it all, and frankly, if people want to consider me a Harry Hater, it would probably make me seem like less of a dork anyways.  Hell, I like Potter and the Lord of the Rings.  If people actually believed me about liking Potter, I may have been doomed to years as a lonely dork, now I'm free to dance in the fields full of adoring followers, and half-naked women that come with being a web master.  With that, I feel I must bid you all adieu, and get out my frolicking clogs.