Professors and Faculty

Dr. Ochoa
"I need to see pain every time I ask a question."

"I'll give you a hint...it's wrong."

"If you sit in front of a lake for six hours, you become inspired..."
-Explaining how to find a solution.

"...and if you touch a metal doorknob, you say 'ouch'...but if you areinto masochism, you say 'wow'. "
-On static electricity...

(Refering to a Sound System Specifications Manual) "So then you'll show you're parents and say 'I know what peak to peak voltage and input impedence mean' and they'll be so proud and finally love you."

"The trees are going around... no they're not. Why? Because my
mom told me. Well, that's not good enough. So maybe the
other kids are pulling the trees around. Well, then maybe."
-On the Physics of a Merry-go-round.

"It's not any fun if there's no chance of dying."
-Talking about roller coasters.

"The STAMP is cute and huggable."

"I'll give you a reason to cry."

"Everytime you don't unplug your cellphone, a snowy owl dies."

Dr. Gleeson
“This isn’t your mother’s eigenfunction.”

“The thing comes poppin’ out of the bra [vector].”

"I want the trees coming down... chopped into little pieces."
-On the length and detail of a QM Mathematica program.

"The Devil's in me!"
-After giving in and using colored chalk.

"He's getting in touch with his feminine side."
-In reference to John's pink shirt with a heart on it.

“I’m probably going to die soon.”
-On why he will not see many more discoveries in particle physics.

Dr. Dalafave
"Despite my efforts, I cannot tunnel through the snowbarrier this morning. So, we will not have our class."

Dr. Pfeiffer
"Teaching a General Physics class is more difficult than
teaching an advanced class. In an advanced class, you can
make a mistake and no one will say anything because no one
knows what is going on."

"Everyone has looked into a toaster right?
If you haven't, you haven't lived."

"If you lived in Zion, you could jump over buildings in a single bound."

"The Earth is made of green apples."

"I love you."
...to his EMT II class.

"Having kids is hereditary so if your parents didn't have kids, there is a good chance you won't either."

"I usually use the Force, but you'd all get scared."
-In the process of pulling down a projector screen.

"Writing too small (on a quiz) will strain my eyes, and strained
eyes will make me angry, and anger leads to hate, and hate
leads to the Dark Side, and you don't want to see the effects
of the Dark Side on your grade."

(Discussing a fit to theoretical data)
"It's really great, isn't it? Verges on sexy."

Dr. Becker
"I've said this so many times I might as well lightmyself on fire."

"My mythical god has eight arms and brings peanutm&m's"

"Hang on while I phlegm out those grits."

"Let me gorilla this out of here real quick."

Dr. Wick
"How do you teach physics in an unthreatening way?"

"Your ability to understand astronomy is notproportional to your distance from me."

"Homework is like beer and exams are like dinner.That's why you can have both at the same time."

"As you get older, your intelligence asymptoticallytends to zero."

"Does God have a wife?"

"I'm not good with numbers."

"It makes me happy to see them struggle..."
-About his Astro 2 class.

"It's Gamma."

"You look like a Communist."
-To Dr. Pfeiffer, who was wearing a bright red turtleneck.

Students

Class of 2003
"The louder you yell, the larger my stimulus"
-Thom Holden

Class of 2004
"Interior Design?"
-Dan Constantino

Class of 2006
"Stop talking in binary!"
-Janice Ogin

"Chocolate Microscopes?"
-Rich Ottens

Class of 2007
"My time is moving slower than yours!"
-John Fischer -- While riding his bike.

"I have Crones."
-AJ Richards, Every Day.

“All this stress is not good for my small bowel! [throws hat]
-AJ Richards, ranting about SFB.

Class of 2008
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I sure would like to integrate you."
-H-Pappa (Mike Hvasta)

"Stoke's is my homeboy."
-Kate Hildebrand

"Eeny, meeny, miny, Gleeson!"
-Paul Bancer

Group Efforts

Mrs. Calu: "Men have no tolerance for pain."
Dr. Ochoa: "No, just Sri Lankans."
...After finding out a professor cancelled class after visiting thedentist...

Dr. Pfeiffer: "You should change your name tosomething longer. How about Wickramasinghelinger?"
Dr. Wickramasinghe: "Do you know what 'liGga' means in Sanskrit?"
Dr Pfeiffer: "No, what?"
Dr. Wick: "It means sex."
Dr. Pfeiffer: "So, you want that at the end of your name?"

Rich Santillo ('04):"I still need a nickname..."
Dan Constantino: "How about Idiot?"
Dr. Hiack shrugs. Dr. Wick laughs.

Dr. Ochoa: "You have to think about how many snowy owls you are kiling."
AJ Richards: "What do we burn snowy owls for fuel?"

Rich Ottens: "Thirty dollars is a lot of money."
Dr. Pfeiffer: "Yes, you can buy a lot of pot with thirty dollars."
...On saving $30 buying an older edition of a textbook...

Dr. Ochoa: "Do you guys know where he is?"
Class: "Who?"
Dr. Ochoa: "Samwise Gamgee."
Class: "Huh?"
Dr. Ochoa: "Oh, no no no. Not Samwise. I mean Ben."

Unknown or Uncertainties

"You don't want to integrate away your p-ness"
-Anonymous faculty quote (accidental)

"I'm a Physics major."
-Thom F.