Thursday, December 13, 2007

Avoiding abusive language in the workplace

Normally, I don't give in to forwarding stuff that must be traveling all around the Internet. But this one is just too good.
Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 new and innovative phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
#Try Saying This...Instead of This...
1I think you could use more training.You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2She's an aggressive go-getter.She's a f___ing bit__.
3Perhaps I can work late.And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4I'm certain that isn't feasible.No f___ing way.
5Really?You've got to be sh___ing me!
6Perhaps you should check with...Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7I wasn't involved in the project.It's not my f___ing problem.
8That's interesting.What the f___?
9I'm not sure this can be implemented.This sh__ won't work.
10I'll try to schedule that.Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?
11He's not familiar with the issues.He's got his head up his a__.
12Excuse me, sir?Eat sh__ and die.
13So you weren't happy with it?Kiss my a__.
14I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.F__ it, I'm on salary.
15I don't think you understand.Shove it up your a__.
16I love a challenge.This f___ing job sucks.
17You want me to take care of that?Who the f___ died and made you boss?
18He's somewhat insensitive.He's a pr_ck.

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posted by Ron @ 2:23 PM

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