"The New Ventures Mission is to scout profitable growth opportunities in relationships, both internally and externally, in emerging, mission inclusive markets, and explore new paradigms and then filter and communicate and evangelize the findings."

In industry, mission statements are not uncommon. The idea behind them is to focus the organization on a desirable goal. There are two problems with using mission statements in this way:

1. If the staff is already focused on what it's supposed to be doing, it doesn't need the mission statement;
2. If the staff is not focused on what it's supposed to be doing, then there is a problem more fundamental than the need for a mission statement.

Unfortunately, most mission statements aren't real, or intended to be followed day-to-day, and employees know this. So business goes on as usual -- despite the effort thrown into a mission statement, and the elation felt by management after it's completed, nobody changes the way they work. UNLESS... it becomes a tool for making the organization accountable to its members and stakeholders. To do this,

• it must be concrete, measurable, reachable, relevant, and recordable
• it must avoid conflicting goals (e.g. "good customer service" and "wrapping up service calls in less than three minutes")
• it must drive day-to-day workplace values.

I have been using mission statements as an example of writing something clear, concise, and short. (Not that most actual mission statements are any of the above.) My classes have been charged with writing personal mission statements, under the following guidelines:

1. It must describe what the writer is trying to do (or get).
2. It must contain the most concrete terminology possible.
3. It must be memorable, at least for the writer.

The case I made for it was this: you never know when you'll have a chance meeting with someone who has the power to change your life. When that chance meeting happens, you've got to present yourself, and fast! Will you know what to say? Or will the first word out of your mouth be "uhhh...?" So I told the students to come up with something they felt they could memorize and recite in about 30 seconds.

Notice how the statement Adams "helped" Logitech senior management write fails under each of the guidelines I give above. :-)

The guidelines above are what I'm using NOW. I used to use mission statements exactly as Adams did, as an example of bad corporate writing. Worse than bad: I found out that sometimes the use of vague language led students (and me) to an "out-of-body experience." I am still not sure whether bad writing teaches us as much about good writing as, well, good writing.

Here are examples of student mission statements under the opposite of my three guidelines! Adams would be proud!

Our company is dedicated to epitomizing the zenith of achievement. Furthermore, our commitment to excellence surpasses that of our competitors. When one seeks to climb the mountain of greatness, he cannot stumble over the cliff of expense. For this reason, we seek not to achieve the paradigm of success -- we seek to embody it.

Our mission is to assemble, design and ship the best possible version of our product by a comprised completion date. Through static processing and cleanroom technology our electro-biologic device may improve and quantify remission in current health and ethical consumption.

To meet the needs of an expanding and demanding age dominated by a technological body and a cornucopia of services.

Total quality, efficiency, service, performance, dedication, utilization, domination. We stand for virtually nothing less.

We will utilize our advanced technological resources to act in the best interest of our customers by developing advanced information support services while maintaining the utmost integrity and employing the Total Quality paradigm...

...until we become the industry leader.

As ambitious employees of our budding corporation, we as a whole shall aim to affordably manufacture the highest quality products that will exponentially increase mankind's eternal quest for a higher worldwide standard of living.

We produce new and dynamically innovative products from new ideas, using new approaches, in the most cost-effective manner, with strong financial support from various industry leaders.

References

The Dilbert Zone, http://www.dilbert.com/