Lately, it seems no matter where you look-the Internet, newsstands, or television-American culture has become obsessed with celebrity gossip. I find it difficult to read my e-mail in the morning without my MSN Homepage telling me what third-world nation gave "Brangelina" its newest baby/fashion accessory. Celebrities are to America what the royal family is to Britain. No matter where we are or what we're doing throughout the day, it seems that it is every U.S. citizen's patriotic duty to check on the status of Nick and Jessica's divorce settlement.

Celebrity gossip is mindless filler. I invite you to take a quick scan around your local Wawa and examine the plethora of gossip rags that lay before you: Star, The National Enquirer, US Weekly, Life & Style, OK!. The list goes on and on. Is it just me, or do all the tabloids get together weekly for a celebrity gossip summit and all decide to print the same headlines?

Another characteristic of celebrity gossip magazines is their constant contradictions of their own headlines. One week the cover of US Weekly declares "Angelina Tells Brad: 'The Wedding is Off!'" Miraculously, a week later, the same magazine announces "With Baby on the Way, Brad and Angie's Wedding is On!" It's ridiculous, it's stupid, and it panders to the most common human inclination: to be more interested in other people's lives than your own.

2005 was a banner year for celebrity gossip. Here's a brief recap of the top stories for those of you who missed it: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' couch-jumping saga ruled the summer months. Angelina Jolie adopted an Ethiopian baby girl and later got pregnant with Brad Pitt's baby. Jennifer Aniston started dating Vince Vaughn and later shacked up with him. Ben Affleck recovered from the "Bennifer" fallout and got married to Jennifer Garner, thus creating a second "Bennifer" phenomenon. Denise Richards separated from Charlie Sheen while pregnant with their second baby, reconciled briefly, then filed for divorce. Britney Spears gave birth to a baby boy and continues to define what it truly means to be white trash. Gwyneth Paltrow became pregnant with her second baby, automatically sparking debate as to what produce her latest child will be named after. Lindsay Lohan admitted to Vanity Fair that she struggled with bulimia and experimented with drugs, then denied she ever said anything of the sort. Nick and Jessica kept us on an emotional rollercoaster all year long, proclaiming that their relationship was fine, but ultimately filing for divorce in November. Finally, Jennifer Lopez managed to stay married to the same man for the entire year of 2005-a miracle for us gossip-followers.

The first step towards recovery is admitting you have a problem. I'll admit it: I have a heroin-like addiction to celebrity gossip. When I'm reading for my finance class, sometimes I have a nagging feeling that I'm missing out on a vital piece of Britney Spears news. This nagging sensation does not stop until I have logged onto E! Online and made sure that Britney hasn't thrown Kevin Federline out of the house or repossessed his Porsche. There have been several occasions where I've been reading about the details of Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas' prenup, instead of practicing my confidence intervals for my Econ Stat test.

I used to be much more interested in celebrity gossip than I am now. The problem is that the American media has started meeting the overwhelming demand for Hollywood gossip. The resulting phenomenon is the proliferation of entertainment news shows, VH1 countdowns, E! specials, and dozens and dozens of gossip magazines. As bad an addict as I am, I'm now becoming nauseated with the amount of news coverage celebrities and their personal lives get. More people know the name of Britney Spears' husband than the name of our country's current national security advisor.

Another effect of the demand for Hollywood gossip is the increased pressure the paparazzi place on celebrities. Celebrities claim to be followed, harassed, chased and threatened by overly-aggressive photographers. Reese Witherspoon sued a photographer who shoved several children out of the way in order to get a shot of her vacationing with her family at Disneyland. Many people believe that Princess Diana's fatal car crash was caused by aggressive paparazzi.

While I agree that, in some cases, the paparazzi can get out of hand, many attention-seeking celebrities use them as a scapegoat. For example, when Britney Spears needed some publicity following her breakup with Justin Timberlake, she attended the premiere of The Recruit with Colin Farrell and tabloid frenzy ensued. Recently, Britney claimed the reason she was caught carrying her son on her lap while driving (when he should have been secured in a car seat), was because she panicked when the paparazzi began to swarm her. The way I see it, there are many celebrities, like Spears, who have come to rely more on their public relations firm than their talent. They invite the paparazzi into their lives when they want publicity, then denounce the photographers who take their picture when they're coming out of Starbucks. It is complete and total hypocrisy.

If you don't believe me, look at it this way: when is the last time you heard a vicious tabloid rumor about Keira Knightley or Heath Ledger? You probably haven't heard a rumor about them more recently than you've heard a rumor about Jennifer Lopez or Paris Hilton. It's simple: the celebrities who live a lower-profile life aren't chased by paparazzi. Yet, in American culture, we reward the celebrities who are the most attention-seeking, the least-talented, and who live their lives like it's a three-ring circus. You probably can't remember who won Best Actress at the Academy Award two years ago, but you probably know the exact reason why Nicole Richie and D.J. AM broke up.

If you're a recovering celebrity-gossip addict like me, don't worry-there's hope. There's a way you can avoid becoming disgusted with the media and yourself. All you have to do is step away from the magazine, change the channel, and turn off your computer monitor. Remember, just because Angelina Jolie adopted her 867th child doesn't mean you have to care.