Worm Holes

(A Second Theory)

In 1993 author John Grey wrote a book titled, "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." Since then the idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus has become a popular way to express the often-bewildering differences between the genders. Grey's hard copy edition devoted 304 pages to the subject.

While Grey's book took a psychological approach to explaining and overcoming these differences, others have tried different approaches. Deborah Blum authored a book in 1997 titled, "Sex on The Brain: The Biological Differences Between Men and Women." This book did a good job of explaining differences but did little in the way of providing coping skills for us practitioners.

Other notable attempts at dealing with gender differences include: "Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men and Women" by Anne Moir and David Jessel. "Why Men Don't Iron: The Fascinating and Unalterable Differences Between Men and Women" by Anne Moir and Bill Moir, and "Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What to Do About It" by Barbara Pease and Allan Pease.

I don't pretend to have any additional insight into this conundrum, and if successful personal experience has any value, I'm flat broke.  However, I have come up with my own theory on the matter that, while not being helpful in coping, may give you men out there some solace. My theory is that women are like worm holes.

Worm Holes are hypothetical/theoretical holes in time-space that connect black holes and white holes.  If you are like most people, you may have some vague idea of what a black hole is, but have never even heard of a white hole. (I'm talking about astrophysics now, so get your mind out of the gutter.)

When a star dies and begins to shrink, if it is massive enough, it can collapse into an object so dense that not even light can escape the pull of its gravitational force. Black holes were first suggested in 1916 by a German astronomer Karl Schwarzschild, with help from Albert Einstein and French astronomer Pierre Laplace, so it is not a new concept.

If you were to fall into a black hole you would, like the star itself, become compressed to the point of singularity, which means you would have infinite density and a radius of one. Some men have this happen in their relationships with women.

The possibility of falling into a black hole does lead to the simple question, "if not even light can escape, then what happens to anything caught in the pull of a black hole?" The obvious answer is that it never escapes. However there are other possibilities. It is theorized that a black hole is a location of extreme distortion in the space-time continuum. (You say you don't know what that is?)

Every object of mass in the universe creates a distortion in the space time continuum. Women seem to cause more distortion than men, but I have no scientific studies to back up that observation. Astronomers say that the more massive the object, the larger the distortion. A black hole, because it is a distortion so extreme, actually causes a tear in space time. This tear is called a worm hole.

What is on the other side of this hole, you ask? Why a white hole, of course. White Holes are the theoretical exact opposite of black holes, and, if you really wish to know, their existence is implied by a negative square root solution to the Schwarzchild metric, based on General Relativity, which is time symmetric. (Sorry about that. I got carried away.)

A white hole is simply a black hole running backwards in time, if you can call that simple. It is a location in space time that, instead of being impossible to escape, is impossible to reach.  Now, if you are a bright person, you are beginning to see my analogy with women.

Just like never discovering the true nature of women, we have never discovered a white hole or a worm hole. Black holes, like women, draw you in but only as far as the worm hole, which is only half way, and then it is impossible to go any further.

The existence of white holes also seem to imply that they exist in a universe parallel to our own, and are connected to a black hole by way of a worm hole. A worm hole joining two separate universes is known as the Einstein-Rosen bridge and is one of the most fascinating concepts in theoretical physics.  Women also exist in a parallel universe from men and are also one of the most fascinating concepts in human relationships.

Black holes, worm holes and women are all extremely hard to understand given their light absorbing nature. Given our current understanding of black holes and white holes (and women) we are not even sure if such a connection could exist, or if it did, where it would take us. Worm holes are also believed to be stable for only a brief amount of time. (Here the analogy is too obvious to state.)  I won't even get into properties such as having negative energy but still capable of exerting a positive surface pressure.

I've always had an intense interest in astronomy and women while never really understanding either. But if I am ever fortunate enough to travel in space, I'll be on the lookout for worm holes.